ADD: Some Attitude

ADD: Some Attitude

By Matthew L. Hart

Humor Writer/Comedian

Author of:

Uncle Matty's Halloween: Jokes, Bits & Anecdotes

Would you rather be really big or really small?

I love this question!

Ever since I saw the movie, Honey, I Shrunk The Kids, and read the book, Gulliver's Travels, I've thought about this.

Let's compare our choices.

I assume my current size is medium. The world seems pretty comfortable relative to my scale. But...

If I was really big, everything I would need will have to be larger.

Also, the world around me actually gets relatively smaller and less dangerous. No predators could take me down, but tripping and falling might actually kill me.

Naturally, the opposite would seem true for getting really small.

The world becomes very much larger and more interesting.

There would be many more predators out to get me, raining could actually be deadly, but my backyard would seem as large as Australia.

Being the clever kind of ape I am, I would realize that a proper shelter would probably become the most important resource I would need.

But, what if I'm really small but still living amongst all the medium people?

Well, that would be the setting for the movie, Downsizing, with Matt Damon.

If that's the case, I think I would rather be neither.

I'd be too afraid of stepping on someone or being stepped on. But, because I have to choose, I'd rather be the stepper.

But, honestly, if I was really big amongst medium sized people or a mix of medium and really small people, the only outcome would be all out war due simply to fear.

What do you think?

Would you rather be really big or really small?

Who would win in a world war amongst really big people, medium people, and really small people?

I can't wait to hear your thoughts in the comments below!

Squirrel in Underpants

Deluxe Air Freshener

"If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door."

- Milton Berle

ADD: Some Attitude

What is attitude, why do I need it and how do I get some?

FOLLOW ME...

LEARN MORE ABOUT ADDING ATTITUDE TO YOUR COMEDY WITH THIS BOOK:

• The Comedy Bible: From Stand-up to Sitcom--The Comedy Writer's Ultimate "How To" Guide

What is ATTITUDE?

Ever heard someone go off on a rant about something? You may have even gotten a laugh when you said, afterwards, "Why don't you tell me how you really feel?"

The laugh happens because you're understating their emotions. Clearly you know exactly how they felt during their rant and this feeling is what I call, "Attitude."

Why do we need attitude when writing and telling jokes?

Writing jokes is all about building tension and releasing that tension with surprise. That's what generates the laughter. 

The SETUP builds tension by giving the listener enough information to guide their train of thought.

The PUNCHLINE derails their expectation. Something else happens or is said at the end of the joke, which they didn't see coming.

ATTITUDE provides the emotional point of view for your joke and does so in the most efficient way possible.

By building attitude into your joke, you will also be able to memorize and act-out your material much more easily.

Memory is tied to emotion and attitude conveys emotion. Building attitude into your jokes will cue you for how to act during your delivery.

How do I get some ATTITUDE for my jokes?

By using ATTITUDE WORDS.

Judy Carter describes in her book, The Comedy Bible: From Stand-up to Sitcom--The Comedy Writer's Ultimate "How To" Guide that there are really only four attitudes.

She has condensed these attitudes into four ATTITUDE WORDS:

• WEIRD
• HARD 
• SCARY
• STUPID

These four attitude words will help you convey your point of view quickly.

They also allow the listener to relate and will set their mind on a predictable line of thinking, which we will bend to get a laugh.

How to use attitude words with your jokes?

We begin by asking questions of our subtopics and incorporating an attitude word.

FOR EXAMPLE:

Topic: Camping

Sub-Topic: Ticks

Now, ask questions:

What is WEIRD about ticks?

What is HARD about ticks?

What is SCARY about ticks?

What is STUPID about ticks?

Now, we just set about answering these questions.

I like to come up with at least 5-10 answers for each, but for this example, I'll just stick with one. But, really try to force yourself to get as many as you can.

Sometimes, the best answer is the last one.

What is WEIRD about ticks?

That they drink blood.


What is HARD about ticks?

Trying to remove them from your skin, safely.


What is SCARY about ticks?

That they carry and can pass diseases.


What is STUPID about ticks?

That it seems like they'll never let go!


Now, we just combine the question and answer into a punchline statement, making sure to incorporate the correct attitude word.

1) Ticks are WEIRD because they drink blood.

2) Ticks are HARD to remove from your skin, safely.

3) Ticks are SCARY because they can pass diseases.

4) Ticks are STUPID because they never let go.

We have just created four joke setups in five minutes!

Now, we can finish these jokes off in a number of ways.

I like adding Act-Outs:

Ask the question: "What would a tick think or say about whatever your statement is?"

1) Ticks are weird because they drink blood. I found one crawling on my shirt and it said, "You're an excellent host...I'll have whatever you're making."

2) They're also a little pretentious (Another attitude word for weird). I pulled one off my leg and it said, "You have a lovely aroma. The type-O really resonates on the pallette...You're not bad for an '83...I'd say, born north of the Valley?"

3) Ticks are hard to remove safely. Maybe it's because I drink too much. I'm gripping them with a pair of tweezers and they're like, "No! Just one more sip! You can't make me!...I can quite whenever I want!"

Be sure to mix up your jokes with some different methods. Adding tags to your jokes is a great way to get additional laughs from your setup.

Tag: "Ever notice how removing a parasite and hosting an intervention are essentially the same thing?"

Tag: "On Family Feud, 'Removing Ticks' was only the third reason to pack Vaseline."

By incorporating attitude words into your process, you will discover how quickly and easily you can develop your jokes and routines.

Try creating your own punchlines about ticks.

Is there an attitude word you use the most?

Put your favorite attitude words in the comments!

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TRY: Split-Reforms

TRY: Split-Reforms

By Matthew L. Hart

Humor Writer/Comedian

Author of:

Uncle Matty's Halloween: Jokes, Bits & Anecdotes

Are you a picky eater or do you like to try new foods?

No. I don't think I've ever met a dish I didn't want to taste.

Actually, I'm very adventurous at mealtimes.

Eating is one of those things you have to do, everyday. Especially if you're lucky.

But, I'm adverse to ordinary.

Don't get me wrong, I thrive on routine, I just don't want eating to be...a wasted opportunity to live.

Different spurs my creativity, and food is my muse, I guess. I find food so amusing because it hits all our senses. Smell, Taste, Texture, sometimes it sizzles, and these professional chefs really plate their food nicely.

I feel a sense of wonder and gratitude for life when I can eat a piece of fine art that was made just for me. It's like a Buddhist sand painting that nourishes your mind and soul, as well as your body.

In that way, I get to take that creative energy with me and use it to generate laughter.

And, nothing generates more laughter than a FOOD FIGHT!

If you've never experienced an actual food fight, add it to your bucket list, and plan to have one at your next birthday party. Life and food should be celebrated!

Fill the menu with rolls, mashed potatoes, cherry tomatoes and olives in your salad, loose corn, finger foods are good but, something sloppy like spaghetti is even better.

And, when it's all over, tell your guests, "The only thing I wanted for my birthday was good food, great company and someone to clean the house for me today."

In addition to going out to eat, I also discovered the Joy of Cooking. Cooking for yourself is an amazingly empowering hobby.

But, one of my favorite things are those crazy cereals coming out. They're making cereal out of candies and cookies now!

So, I feed my inner child. "Sourpatch Kids cereal! I can eat candy for breakfast?...Well, it is breakfast cereal...It would be irresponsible not to."

Also, I live outside a large city. So, I just flip to the 'Restaurant' section of the yellow book...Yes, I said, 'book', because I'm going to cross off each one as I try it.

I judge the quality of a city by how long I can go without visiting the same restaurant twice...and once I've run out of dining options, it's time to move.

Cookin' with Coolio:

5 Star Meals at a 1 Star Price

"'I'm bored' is a useless thing to say. I mean, you live in a great, big, vast world that you've seen none percent of. Even the inside of your own mind is endless; it goes on forever, inwardly, do you understand? The fact that you're alive is amazing, so you don't get to say 'I'm bored.'"

- Louis C. K.

TRY: Split-Reforms

When the pressure is on to find something funny and to do that quickly, it's helpful to have a box of tools and techniques that you can reach for to get the job done. But, just obtaining the tool isn't enough. It will be up to you to practice using it until you become a Master Craftsman.

Build your comedy library

DISCOVER THIS BOOK FOR MORE INFORMATION ON SPLIT-REFORMS:

• Comedy Writing Secrets: The Best-Selling Guide to Writing Funny and Getting Paid for It

Split-reforms are created when you fracture a single word into two or more separate words, which will  typically be homonyms, that will create a surprising, and funny, new meaning.

Homonyms are words that are pronounced and spelled alike, but have different meanings. 

Using Split-reforms is a great comedy writing tool because of their ability to misdirect the audience.

Humor theory suggests that one of the main reasons people will laugh is because they are delightfully surprised.

Humor theory deserves its own blog, so I will only touch on this one Comedy Formula.

MISDIRECTION + SURPRISE = COMEDY

So, is this what people are referring to when they say, "Joke Formulas"?

No. Let me be clear, a Joke Formula is more akin to Mad Libs where you have a preconstructed joke that you can fill in with different associated words from a new topic. 

Think of Jeff Foxworthy's 'You might be a redneck if...'  This was a very successful Joke Formula Jeff created for himself, because he could finish that sentence with whichever new Topic he wanted to poke fun at.

"You might be a redneck if...your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand."

- Jeff Foxworthy

Or, the reverse of this formula:

"If your dad walks you to school because you're in the same grade, you might be a redneck."

- Jeff Foxworthy

But, what we're talking about here is Humor Theory, which simply describes why Jeff's formula got laughs.

By using Humor Theory and the Comedy Formula: Misdirection + Surprise = Comedy, we will be able to identify which Split-reforms have the most likelihood of getting a laugh before throwing them out to an audience.

The Comedy Formula gives us a quality control measure to pick out the best jokes we come up with after using the Split-reform technique.

So, the great news is that using Split-reforms can create a lot of material, quickly.

LET'S GET STARTED!

You will need some material to work with.

First, build a list of words which are associated with your Topic.

It's important to come up with as many as you can.

Think of People, Places, Things, Quotes, and Cliches.

Second, cherry-pick out the words you can split.

Look for any compound words.

Compound Words are single words made up of multiple words. 

For example: 

sunflower, classroom, moonlight

You can split a compound word and reform it into the separate words.

For example: 

sunflower = sun + flower, classroom = class + room, moonlight = moon + light

Look for a-words.

Pick out any words that start with the letter a.

For example: 

alone, apiece, abreast

You will split the a from the rest of the word to reform it.

For example: 

alone = a + lone, apiece = a + piece, abreast = a + breast

Look for words with a prefix.

Pick out any words that have an-, pre-, un-, or in-.

For example:

anarchy, predetermine, unhappy, independent

Reform words by splitting off the prefix and adding, deleting or separating the it to reform other words.

For example:

Add a prefix to words that don't use them:

an + tire = antire

pre + sleep = presleep

un + pleasure = unpleasure

in + work = inwork

Subtract prefix:

anarchy - an = archy

predetermine - pre = determine
unhappy - un = happy

independent - in = dependent

Separate the prefix:

anarchy = an & archy

predetermine = pre & determine

unhappy = un & happy

independent = in & dependent

Look for words with a suffix.

Pick out any words that have an -ize, -ment, -log.

For example:

modernize, movement, monolog

Follow the same Split-reform method used for Prefixes.

For example:

Add a suffix to words that don't use them:

can + ize = canize

dog + ment = dogment

grip + log = griplog

Subtract the suffix:

modernize - ize = modern

movement - ment = move

monolog - log = mono

Separate the suffix:

modernize = modern & ize

movement = move & ment

monolog = mono & log

Look for words with -er and er sounds.

The -er and er sounds can be reformed into the homonym: her.

For example:

batter, catcher, manager

Split -er and reform to her:

batter = bat her

catcher = catch her

manager = manage her

Try to identify as many compound words, a-words, prefixes, suffixes, and words with -er as you can for your topic.

Third, use homonyms to reform your words into phrases and try to incorporate those phrases into statements and cliches.

Homonyms are your friends when using the Split-reform method. 

Don't be afraid to say your words out loud, and it also helps to try different tones and pacing. 

You can even sneeze, cough or mumble through a word to see if you can get it to sound like something else.

Fourth, and finally, use your phrases and statements as setups and punchlines for your jokes.

The type of material generated by the Split-reform method lends itself best to written media T-shirts, Mugs, Greeting Cards, and signs. However, with careful crafting, Split-reform material can also be spoken. 

Here are the four steps to working the Split-reform method.

First, build a list of words which are associated with your Topic.

Second, cherry-pick out the words you can split.

Third, use homonyms to reform your words into phrases and try to incorporate those phrases into statements and cliches.

Fourth, and finally, use your phrases and statements as setups and punchlines for your jokes.

Practice Split-reforms:

Pull a word from your list and write down as many soundalike words and phrases you can think of. Try hard to generate as many as you can per word or phrase.

Use Split-reforms to create funny greeting cards.

How was your experience using Split-reforms?

Share your experience using Split-reforms in the Comments!

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TOP 5: Of 2018

TOP 5: Of 2018

By Matthew L. Hart

Humor Writer/Comedian

Author of:

Uncle Matty's Halloween: Jokes, Bits & Anecdotes

What fad do you hope comes back?

Hands down, has to be, Mixed Cassette Tapes!

There is something so cool about making a custom playlist on an actual physical cassette tape.

And, this story isn't unique, it's just how it was.

My Sister and I would call the radio station and request a song. We'd sit by the radio for, like an hour, until the DJ played it, and then we'd hit record to pirate it off the radio.

We were just kids. It's not like we could just go to the store and buy the album. We lived pretty far out of town.

 But, in middle school, my sister got a Karaoke machine for Christmas.

She woke me up at three or four in the morning and we pretended to be DJs on the radio. I think we woke our parents up too, but they just let us have our fun.

We recorded the whole thing as a mixed tape. I think she still has that cassette.

It's definitely one of our childhood treasures. I think my nephew will get a kick out of it too when he gets to be our age in the tape.

That's why I think physical cassette tapes are more fun. They get passed around like old books. I used to look for Mix Tapes at garage sales.

Anything that said, "Road Trip" was usually pretty fun. You'd also see a lot of "Valentine's Day (date)" mixes.

Those were interesting because people would comment over the songs as they recorded them. Really fun stories from strangers.

Another thing about a digital playlist, is that they just don't have the same character as a physical cassette tape.

You can hear if the tape has been played a lot and is worn out. And, your personality comes through when you hand write the labels and add little designs.

If walkmans and mixed tapes came back, I think that would be fun for everyone in the current culture-sphere.

Sony WM-FS222 S2 Sports Walkman Stereo Cassette Player with FM/AM/TV and Weather Radio

TOP 5: Of 2018

Standup comedy specials worth watching:

• John Mulaney - Kid Gorgeous at Radio City
• Kevin James - Never Don't Give Up
• Jim Gaffigan - Noble Ape
• Ted Alexandro - Senior Class of Earth
• Ali Wong - Hard Knock Wife

2018 is shaking things up!

We are seeing a real transition for comedy this year. Today's working Comedians seem to be struggling to figure out what the future of comedy will be. 

2018 has been filled with great "traditional" acts seeming to go head-to-head with more contemporary performers. 

It appears that nothing is off-limits right now. Even the art of comedy itself is on the chopping block!

But, I think that 2018 will be a pivotal year for the future of comedy. 

It's a real toss-up to see which Comedians will be left standing in 2019 and where the chips will land for audiences. 

Now, let's take a look at my TOP 5: Comedians Of 2018. 

#1 - John Mulaney - Kid Gorgeous at Radio City

"I paid $120,000 for someone to tell me to read Jane Austen, and then I didn't!"

- John Mulaney

This special was fun. 

John tells us biting stories from his childhood, which I really enjoy, and his time working for Saturday Night Live. Although, I feel like SNL has been very...soft core for a very long time. 

John's work is culturally relevant as an example of modern comedy, and I think it's important to see were comedy is heading right now.

#2 Kevin James - Never Don't Give Up

"They have a service called Tattoo 2 U, where they will send a van to your house to give you a tattoo. 'Yeah, how you doing? Listen, I got like three DUIs. I'm currently under house arrest. I'm pretty hammered right now, but...I need the Tasmanian devil on my left ass cheek immediately.' "

- Kevin James 

Coming back to the stage after 17 years, Kevin knocks this one out of the park!

Tackling a list of ordinary topics, food allergies, fans, and tattoos, Kevin knows how to explore the absurdity of the small stuff with his high energy brand of comedy.

Looks like he might be making a second-wave comeback.

#3 Jim Gaffigan - Noble Ape

"What do we really know about massage therapists? They like to rub strangers for money while they listen to the Avatar soundtrack. That's a red flag! Those are the traits of a serial killer!"

- Jim Gaffigan

This was a very special year for Jim's work.

Jim shows us the value of comedy as he explores serious personal issues like dealing with his wife's brain tumor, traveling with his family internationally, and the difficulty of parenting.

But, he still manages to get us to laugh with his unique brand of comedy, because the laughs don't stop when Jim hits the stage!

#4 Ted Alexandro - Senior Class of Earth

"So, I used to be a music teacher. I used to teach K-5 music here in New York City. I taught the recorder. Are you guys familiar with Satan's little flute? If there's music in Hell, I assure you, it is played on a recorder."

- Ted Alexandro

Ted's comedy isn't afraid to sink it's teeth in.

This is Ted's third hour-long album, it's a bit underground, but mainstream enough to talk about with your friends. His show is not afraid to throw a few punches at today's hot button topics.

Even though I'm not a big fan of political humor, I think he does a great job creating humor with the topics he explores.

#5 Ali Wong - Hard Knock Wife

"Breastfeeding is this savage ritual that just reminds you that your body is a cafeteria now! It don't belong to you no more. When my baby girl would get hungry, she'd yank my nipple back and forth like that bear fucking up Leonardo DiCaprio in The Revenant."

- Ali Wong

This album is Ali Wong's shock album.

I enjoyed the female perspective on children, child-rearing, giving birth, breast feeding, every authentic topic I would expect a pregnant comic to discuss in bloody red detail.

I appreciate that this special could not be done by anyone else.

Ali Wong really owns her brand of comedy.

TOP 5: Of 2018 Sampler

Did I get it all wrong?

Who would you rank as your 

TOP 5 Comedians of 2018?

THROW YOUR LIST IN THE COMMENTS

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